Late last Tuesday night, fresh from the Bernice drama of last two days, I called Carolsue. After asking the property management company to drop everything and take care of me, Bernice had just blown me off. Though she has rented all of her life, she apparently wasn't expecting to part with a security deposit. That Tuesday night, I was tired and frustrated. And, I just wanted to vent to someone about how much I absolutely hate being a potential landlord to crazy people. And more importantly, how did I screw up my karma so badly that crazies are attracted my way?
That's when Carolsue dropped this little nugget on me. While she was working on the steps at the house Monday (helping me get ready for Wednesday's rental), and while Flunky's crew was over there changing the locks, replacing the broken window and fixing the drywall in the bathroom, Bernice just happened to pop by. I guess she had nothing better to do with her entire afternoon except channel her inner contractor, because she walked around, overseeing the work, telling everyone how she was moving in two days later. She asked the crew if they would fix this? And would they take care of that? Thankfully, the crew told her that was up to the owner to decide. Hence, this explains why I was getting a ton of texts asking about maintenance from Bernice.
But, that's not all. Because Bernice was telling everyone how she moving in (she had neglected drive over to the property management company and fill out an application at this point, much less be approved), one member of Flunky's crew gave her a key to my freshly re-keyed home. Apparently he just figured she said she was moving in, it must be true. I am sure he was doing it as a favor to all involved and had the best of intentions.
However, when Carolsue told me this Tuesday night, I stroked out.
To put this in perspective: some chick who has to be out of her home by Wednesday now has a key to my house. What is to stop her from making up a fake lease and and just moving herself in? This was a potential nightmare (actually it was a true nightmare, because that is what I dreamed of that night). This scenario, happens more often then you think. Squatters are hard to get rid of. And with the Alabama court system so darn slow, getting rid of someone with a key and a fake lease could take a year--if she moved on her own. and frankly, with an open bankruptcy and an eviction, Bernice has nothing too loose. So, while I was on the phone with Carolsue, I was frantically e-mailing everyone in Luigi's organization whom I had an e-mail address, explaining the enormity of the situation.
Then, very early Wednesday morning Jeff from Luigi's office called. And when I re-iterated how a member of Flunky's crew illegally gave out a key to my home, Jeff said--and I am not making this up: "That's the craziest thing I ever heard."
I couldn't help myself. My filter was gone as I incredulously replied, "Seriously Jeff? You have been in property management for at least a year and that's the craziest thing you ever heard?"
Friday, October 30, 2015
Thursday, October 29, 2015
That Tuesday
Tuesday came around, Bernice sauntered in to Luigi's office and happily filled out the application to rent my home. It was the quietest 15 minutes of my day. Because, as soon as she was done, she then continued to text me asking for all sorts of items to be fixed. Many were cosmetic. And many more were ridiculous. But, in truth, the home wasn't move-in ready, I gave her a break on the rent for the first month and told her we would call it even.
At the same time the texts from Bernice were coming in, e-mails from Flunky the Maintenance Asshat were coming in to me, giving me updates on what a spectacular job his crew was doing at this house. I have never, ever, received updates from Flunky before on any job, or frankly, since.
Flunky's e-mails sent a spark of guilt through me. What I asked of everyone there was a major imposition. It was a fire drill. Please stop what you are doing, get my home ready to rent and approve my tenant in record time. I knew what I was asking when I was doing it, and I am beyond grateful they stepped up. They didn't have to. And they probably won't again--but I am getting ahead of myself.
So, back to Bernice. A credit and background check revealed that Good O'le Bernice has an open bankruptcy. She also has a fresh--like less than two month's ago--eviction she had neglected to mention to me. I had asked her some basic questions on Sunday when I was talking to her and somehow she forgot to mention these two itsy-bitsy issues. Certainly she revealed she had bruised credit but she neglected to tell me about the two absolute-I-will-not-rent-to-you-EVER deal killers. She also told me she made three times the monthly rent. And, as expected at this point, apparently Bernice's best subject in school wasn't math.
When I called Bernice back (she feigned surprise she had an eviction--how does one not know this??? and furthermore how stupid did she think I was that she thought I would believe she didn't know she had been summoned in front of a judge?) I said, "Tell me right now why I should rent to you." At which point, Bernice gave me a lovely song and dance about why she was worth taking a chance on. I wasn't convinced. Jeff, Luigi's leasing agent, agreed with me. Bernice was not worth it.
However, this home belongs to four people: The Partners, Marty Sunshine and me. As I am only one-fourth of the vote, I was over-ruled. The truth is, most likely if we don't put Bernice in this house, we are putting a Section 8 crack whore in there. In some ways, Bernice with her open bankruptcy and six-week old eviction looked a lot prettier than what else we could expect. At least that was Marty Sunshine's thinking. Essentially, we could at least get Bernice to baby-sit this particular home at least through the holidays. It wasn't that I agreed, I just saw the other side of the coin: I know what could expect from this neighborhood. Heck, even counting my home in Pinson (in foreclosure) this was the home that has been trashed the worst. At least Bernice didn't seem like the type to trash it.
When push came to shove, Marty Sunshine over-ruled me. I made him send me an e-mail saying I had no say in the matter and if this turned out to be the train-wreck I was expecting it to be, I am absolved of all responsibility.
I then called back Bernice, told her she was approved. I told her I wasn't messing around. One wrong move and she was out in the street (right... like I can make that stick). I did my best to sound like the grumpy curmudgeon I had become that day. She replied with several variations of "Thank you Mrs. Landlord. I will take great care of your place. Thank you. Thank you." She then spared my cell minutes but continually followed up with additional texts with the same sentiment.
Once I gave the astonished ("Seriously, you are going to rent to her? Have you lost your mind?") Jeff the green light to approve her. He called Bernice and told her to come in Wednesday morning and sign the lease. He went over the terms and conditions. What her move-in up front money would be. He reminded Bernice I had given her a reduction in rent and wasn't I just awesome? Apparently Bernice was thrilled--at least that is what the leasing agent told me.
Long around 7 p.m. my time that night, Bernice sent me yet another text. She wasn't moving in. Because, even though she had to be out of her apartment by the next morning, it turns out she didn't have the security deposit. Oops! So, thanks anyway for jumping through all these hoops and "taking a chance on her". But no.
At the same time the texts from Bernice were coming in, e-mails from Flunky the Maintenance Asshat were coming in to me, giving me updates on what a spectacular job his crew was doing at this house. I have never, ever, received updates from Flunky before on any job, or frankly, since.
Flunky's e-mails sent a spark of guilt through me. What I asked of everyone there was a major imposition. It was a fire drill. Please stop what you are doing, get my home ready to rent and approve my tenant in record time. I knew what I was asking when I was doing it, and I am beyond grateful they stepped up. They didn't have to. And they probably won't again--but I am getting ahead of myself.
So, back to Bernice. A credit and background check revealed that Good O'le Bernice has an open bankruptcy. She also has a fresh--like less than two month's ago--eviction she had neglected to mention to me. I had asked her some basic questions on Sunday when I was talking to her and somehow she forgot to mention these two itsy-bitsy issues. Certainly she revealed she had bruised credit but she neglected to tell me about the two absolute-I-will-not-rent-to-you-EVER deal killers. She also told me she made three times the monthly rent. And, as expected at this point, apparently Bernice's best subject in school wasn't math.
When I called Bernice back (she feigned surprise she had an eviction--how does one not know this??? and furthermore how stupid did she think I was that she thought I would believe she didn't know she had been summoned in front of a judge?) I said, "Tell me right now why I should rent to you." At which point, Bernice gave me a lovely song and dance about why she was worth taking a chance on. I wasn't convinced. Jeff, Luigi's leasing agent, agreed with me. Bernice was not worth it.
However, this home belongs to four people: The Partners, Marty Sunshine and me. As I am only one-fourth of the vote, I was over-ruled. The truth is, most likely if we don't put Bernice in this house, we are putting a Section 8 crack whore in there. In some ways, Bernice with her open bankruptcy and six-week old eviction looked a lot prettier than what else we could expect. At least that was Marty Sunshine's thinking. Essentially, we could at least get Bernice to baby-sit this particular home at least through the holidays. It wasn't that I agreed, I just saw the other side of the coin: I know what could expect from this neighborhood. Heck, even counting my home in Pinson (in foreclosure) this was the home that has been trashed the worst. At least Bernice didn't seem like the type to trash it.
When push came to shove, Marty Sunshine over-ruled me. I made him send me an e-mail saying I had no say in the matter and if this turned out to be the train-wreck I was expecting it to be, I am absolved of all responsibility.
I then called back Bernice, told her she was approved. I told her I wasn't messing around. One wrong move and she was out in the street (right... like I can make that stick). I did my best to sound like the grumpy curmudgeon I had become that day. She replied with several variations of "Thank you Mrs. Landlord. I will take great care of your place. Thank you. Thank you." She then spared my cell minutes but continually followed up with additional texts with the same sentiment.
Once I gave the astonished ("Seriously, you are going to rent to her? Have you lost your mind?") Jeff the green light to approve her. He called Bernice and told her to come in Wednesday morning and sign the lease. He went over the terms and conditions. What her move-in up front money would be. He reminded Bernice I had given her a reduction in rent and wasn't I just awesome? Apparently Bernice was thrilled--at least that is what the leasing agent told me.
Long around 7 p.m. my time that night, Bernice sent me yet another text. She wasn't moving in. Because, even though she had to be out of her apartment by the next morning, it turns out she didn't have the security deposit. Oops! So, thanks anyway for jumping through all these hoops and "taking a chance on her". But no.
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
That Monday
The O'le Accidental Business has been kinda busy lately. I would like to tell how productive this business has been, but as true in life, "busy" has nothing to do with productive.
Here's the back story: I had a home in property management. The tenant moved out. A former tenant contacted me and wanted to rent it. This was someone I know and trust. So, a couple of Fridays ago, I took the house out of property management. The following Sunday morning, I heard from Ms. Former Tenant: she wasn't moving in. So, I now have a vacant home that is out of property management.
Nevertheless, Carolsue came forward and instantly found me a potential renter. Bernice was looking to rent a home in Carolsue's neighborhood, but instead, Carolsue told her about my charming home and took her over to see it.
It turns out, Bernice loved my little home. She wanted to move in by Wednesday. And would I consider painting? And who was fixing the broken window? This is all Sunday evening.
So, that evening, I got on the computer and send a lovely note over to Luigi and Willy telling them yes, please put the home back in property management. Yes, I promise not to change my mind again. And by the way, Bernice will be calling first thing Monday morning to fill out an application. This, by the way, was a serious imposition on my part. I knew it when I did it, and hoped for the best.
I waited until Monday morning to send Flunky a note, sweetly asking him if he would pretty please fix the broken window, change the locks and paint the bathroom. And could he do it immediately, as the potential tenant was moving in on Wednesday.
As you three readers know, my relationship with Flunky the Maintenance Asshat is tenuous at best. And apparently word got back to him that I ratted him out to Luigi a few weeks ago. This probably was the reason--on a Monday morning, at a property management company, with all sorts of maintenance issues coming in from the weekend that should supersede a broken window and new locks--Flunky was so darn gracious with the "Yes, Ma'am, I would be (cough-cough) happy to help you," e-mails he sent me in reply.
Meanwhile, Carolsue was taking care of some other maintenance at the home for me. So, she was on hand to witness everything, when suddenly (and unbeknownst to me) Bernice, instead of high-tailing to the property management company to fill out an application, just decided to pop by and check on "her" home. All I knew was that I was getting texts in 20 minute intervals that said something alone the lines of "Will you fix this?" or "I haven't heard from the property management company yet." and other such nonsense. And, given it was a Monday, and I work for a Property Management company, I really didn't have the time or patience to continue to deal with Bernice.
Somewhere in the middle of all of this, I sent everyone who handles leasing as well as Luigi himself a note saying "Please, someone call her! She wants to move in by Wednesday." Finally someone reached out to Bernice and scheduled her to come in Tuesday morning to fill out an application.
To be continued
Here's the back story: I had a home in property management. The tenant moved out. A former tenant contacted me and wanted to rent it. This was someone I know and trust. So, a couple of Fridays ago, I took the house out of property management. The following Sunday morning, I heard from Ms. Former Tenant: she wasn't moving in. So, I now have a vacant home that is out of property management.
Nevertheless, Carolsue came forward and instantly found me a potential renter. Bernice was looking to rent a home in Carolsue's neighborhood, but instead, Carolsue told her about my charming home and took her over to see it.
It turns out, Bernice loved my little home. She wanted to move in by Wednesday. And would I consider painting? And who was fixing the broken window? This is all Sunday evening.
So, that evening, I got on the computer and send a lovely note over to Luigi and Willy telling them yes, please put the home back in property management. Yes, I promise not to change my mind again. And by the way, Bernice will be calling first thing Monday morning to fill out an application. This, by the way, was a serious imposition on my part. I knew it when I did it, and hoped for the best.
I waited until Monday morning to send Flunky a note, sweetly asking him if he would pretty please fix the broken window, change the locks and paint the bathroom. And could he do it immediately, as the potential tenant was moving in on Wednesday.
As you three readers know, my relationship with Flunky the Maintenance Asshat is tenuous at best. And apparently word got back to him that I ratted him out to Luigi a few weeks ago. This probably was the reason--on a Monday morning, at a property management company, with all sorts of maintenance issues coming in from the weekend that should supersede a broken window and new locks--Flunky was so darn gracious with the "Yes, Ma'am, I would be (cough-cough) happy to help you," e-mails he sent me in reply.
Meanwhile, Carolsue was taking care of some other maintenance at the home for me. So, she was on hand to witness everything, when suddenly (and unbeknownst to me) Bernice, instead of high-tailing to the property management company to fill out an application, just decided to pop by and check on "her" home. All I knew was that I was getting texts in 20 minute intervals that said something alone the lines of "Will you fix this?" or "I haven't heard from the property management company yet." and other such nonsense. And, given it was a Monday, and I work for a Property Management company, I really didn't have the time or patience to continue to deal with Bernice.
Somewhere in the middle of all of this, I sent everyone who handles leasing as well as Luigi himself a note saying "Please, someone call her! She wants to move in by Wednesday." Finally someone reached out to Bernice and scheduled her to come in Tuesday morning to fill out an application.
To be continued
Friday, October 16, 2015
Round And Round
When we last left the continuing saga of loosing our home in Pinson (the one on the two acres with a pond and wrap around porch), we were in the process of working with the first mortgage company on a deed in lieu of foreclosure. The second mortgage company however continues to call at all hours of the day and ask for my social security number. Which I refuse to give them (Hey! They called me. They should have my social security number.)
A few weeks ago, our liaison at the first mortgage company, Jonathan, wrote me and asked if I could meet the appraiser out at the house to let him in. I found this odd because he just replied to an earlier e-mail I had sent saying, "I don't live in Alabama and you can have the appraiser get the keys from the property management company. And here is their contact information." But whatever, somewhere in me saying "I don't live in Alabama" it was interpreted as "I am certainly available to drop everything and hop on over and let some dude into this home at his convenience" (who could probably enter through the broken window or where the garage door used to be--thank you former tenants).
Also as part of Jonathan's note last week he asked if I could send him the articles of incorporation for an LLC that hasn't had their name on this deed in 8 years. When I asked why, Jonathan just replied because that LLC's name is on the deed. I went to the Jefferson County Tax Records. No it isn't. But I didn't feel like arguing with Jonathan.
Instead, I just replied to Jonathan's e-mail with an answer to both: Get the keys from the property management company. And here is their contact information (again) and would you like us to change the deed back into Marty Sunshine's and my name to make everything smoother? And then I waited. And waited. And waited.
Today I got another e-mail from Jonathan. What do you know? It was a reply from my last e-mail where I asked him about the name change. But just to be sure I would think him a bit of a buffoon, he asked what was going on with us changing the name on the deed? He also told me "we" couldn't move forward with this until this issue was resolved.
And by the way, when could I get out to the house and let the appraiser in?
A few weeks ago, our liaison at the first mortgage company, Jonathan, wrote me and asked if I could meet the appraiser out at the house to let him in. I found this odd because he just replied to an earlier e-mail I had sent saying, "I don't live in Alabama and you can have the appraiser get the keys from the property management company. And here is their contact information." But whatever, somewhere in me saying "I don't live in Alabama" it was interpreted as "I am certainly available to drop everything and hop on over and let some dude into this home at his convenience" (who could probably enter through the broken window or where the garage door used to be--thank you former tenants).
Also as part of Jonathan's note last week he asked if I could send him the articles of incorporation for an LLC that hasn't had their name on this deed in 8 years. When I asked why, Jonathan just replied because that LLC's name is on the deed. I went to the Jefferson County Tax Records. No it isn't. But I didn't feel like arguing with Jonathan.
Instead, I just replied to Jonathan's e-mail with an answer to both: Get the keys from the property management company. And here is their contact information (again) and would you like us to change the deed back into Marty Sunshine's and my name to make everything smoother? And then I waited. And waited. And waited.
Today I got another e-mail from Jonathan. What do you know? It was a reply from my last e-mail where I asked him about the name change. But just to be sure I would think him a bit of a buffoon, he asked what was going on with us changing the name on the deed? He also told me "we" couldn't move forward with this until this issue was resolved.
And by the way, when could I get out to the house and let the appraiser in?
Friday, October 09, 2015
Just In Time
This past week, Flunky the Maintenance Asshat pestered me to approve the quote he gave me to have the watershed issue abated at my Fultondale home. I ignored him for several days, happily deleting his texts and filing his unread e-mails. Incidentally, the quote was significantly less, and much more reasonable, than his first "this is the only one you are going to get from me and leave me the heck alone you stupid woman who knows nothing," quote he presented me months ago.
One of the legitimate reasons I did not approve the quote right away was that I wanted Mr. 114 to take a peek and give me his professional opinion. After all, Mr. 114 does this kind of thing for a living. In this case, Mr. 114 happens to live on the smack-dab other side of town and it just isn't worth it to him to take on this job (though I begged). Eventually he graciously got back in touch with me. And yes, he gave me his blessing.
My real concern is my tenants. They have been there since 2010. They love the area. In fact Mr. Fultondale grew up in the neighborhood and fondly tells me every time I inspect the home how he used to camp in the woods approximately where my home is currently situated. The tenants keep the house in cherry condition. And through this entire ordeal, it never strayed from my mind that these folks are the unfortunate pawns in this game.
It wasn't that I wanted to hurt them. My tenants don't deserve to be put in the middle of a battle of wills between Flunky and my wallet. Nor did they sign up for a home where their basement was uninhabitable. And, if Flunky had provided me with a reasonable quote back in June, or even a second quote when I asked for it in July, there wouldn't have been a situation where the tenants couldn't use the basement for months on end.
While all this was going on, I was also keenly aware my tenants' lease is up at the end of this month. It would have been completely reasonable for them to pack up and move under the circumstances. I know I would consider doing so. Additionally, I knew if they did pack up and move, we would either 1) still have to get the work done and have to pay the turnover costs associated with having a vacant home or 2)--and this was the more likely scenario--give this home back to the bank. Neither appealed to me. Fortunately, it appears this was resolved in time and it won't be an issue after all.
One of the legitimate reasons I did not approve the quote right away was that I wanted Mr. 114 to take a peek and give me his professional opinion. After all, Mr. 114 does this kind of thing for a living. In this case, Mr. 114 happens to live on the smack-dab other side of town and it just isn't worth it to him to take on this job (though I begged). Eventually he graciously got back in touch with me. And yes, he gave me his blessing.
My real concern is my tenants. They have been there since 2010. They love the area. In fact Mr. Fultondale grew up in the neighborhood and fondly tells me every time I inspect the home how he used to camp in the woods approximately where my home is currently situated. The tenants keep the house in cherry condition. And through this entire ordeal, it never strayed from my mind that these folks are the unfortunate pawns in this game.
It wasn't that I wanted to hurt them. My tenants don't deserve to be put in the middle of a battle of wills between Flunky and my wallet. Nor did they sign up for a home where their basement was uninhabitable. And, if Flunky had provided me with a reasonable quote back in June, or even a second quote when I asked for it in July, there wouldn't have been a situation where the tenants couldn't use the basement for months on end.
While all this was going on, I was also keenly aware my tenants' lease is up at the end of this month. It would have been completely reasonable for them to pack up and move under the circumstances. I know I would consider doing so. Additionally, I knew if they did pack up and move, we would either 1) still have to get the work done and have to pay the turnover costs associated with having a vacant home or 2)--and this was the more likely scenario--give this home back to the bank. Neither appealed to me. Fortunately, it appears this was resolved in time and it won't be an issue after all.
Tuesday, October 06, 2015
The Passive Aggressive Diva That I Am
Flunky the Maintenance Asshat's e-mail arrived in my inbox at some reasonable hour Monday. It said, "Here is a new quote for the work that needs to be done on your home in Fultondale." And what do you know! It was less than half of cost of the first quote.
You remember that first quote don't you? The one I have repeatedly asked for since June? The one Mr. 114 told me was garbage? Yea, that one.
A few weeks ago, after asking Flunky repeatedly to find another vendor, he told me "there is no other company that does this kind of work", essentially letting me know this was as good as it would get and that I needed to back off. Somehow that changed last week and Birmingham became awash with watershed management companies.* This time Flunky found a more wonderful "as good as it was going to get" type of price.
Of course, because the quote was so handsome Flunky has been pestering me all darn day to approve the the project.
I probably will.
When I am good and ready.
*That pun is for you Alec.
You remember that first quote don't you? The one I have repeatedly asked for since June? The one Mr. 114 told me was garbage? Yea, that one.
A few weeks ago, after asking Flunky repeatedly to find another vendor, he told me "there is no other company that does this kind of work", essentially letting me know this was as good as it would get and that I needed to back off. Somehow that changed last week and Birmingham became awash with watershed management companies.* This time Flunky found a more wonderful "as good as it was going to get" type of price.
Of course, because the quote was so handsome Flunky has been pestering me all darn day to approve the the project.
I probably will.
When I am good and ready.
*That pun is for you Alec.
Monday, October 05, 2015
This Isn't The "Right Property"
If you aren't aware of this particular tid-bit about me, I hate showing rentals. Yes. I work for a property management company, but for the most part, I sell real estate for a property management company. Rentals. Not so much.
However, my kids are addicted to groceries. And, with Buckaroo in two sports and about to turn 13 in a matter of days, we go through a lot of groceries. A lot. So, I show rentals.
One of the nifty aspects of real estate is I can advertise other people's listings. Yes, I need permission (unless the rentals are from my company), but being able to do so allows me to generate leads. And essentially a filled rental home makes for a happy owner and a full belly for Buckaroo.
Anyway, I recently ran an ad for a home. As you may remember from our Landlord 101 final exam a few years ago on this blog (which I am pleased to say the three of you passed), the most information you will ever find out about a tenant is from the time they show any interest in a home to the moment they sign the lease. That in mind, this is the response I got from a guy named Ray for an ad I ran. It came in this past Saturday night.
"I am interested in this rental and would like to schedule a viewing today. My roommate are looking to move into a property as soon as Monday. We have cash in hand and are ready to move on the right property. Can I see this property tomorrow?"
Now, mind you, the dude didn't call me--which would make a heck of a lot more sense if he has the urgency I seem to be reading into this. It also appears he can't make up his mind. Did he want to see this house on Saturday or Sunday. Marty Sunshine was even questioning whether or not he was real. That aside, there are a few reasons why I would never rent to him if this were my property.
1) He sounds desperate. If you are willing to move within two days (mind you it takes about two business days to run a background check, credit check and landlord check), why? Are you being kicked out of your current home? Did you not realize the month rolled over and are just exhibiting poor planning skills? Owners don't like poor planning skills from tenants. It tends to become a monthly trend, which involves poor planning with the rent.
2) He has a roommate. That probably means he can't afford the rent himself (which in this case is $1200). Most landlords (me and the company I work for included) require a tenant to have a monthly income of three times the monthly rent. If you need a roommate, you probably are not going to fall into that category. And what happens if Ray and his roomie have a falling out and the roommate leaves? Can Ray afford the rent or does he bail on an unsuspecting owner?
That was rhetorical by the way. We all know the answer to this because it was in the Landlord 102 final exam.
3) And finally, Ray has cash. Nowhere in his quick message did it say anything about him having the "money" for rent and deposits. Just that he has "cash." Of course, there is the usual cliches about the kinds of folks who have all cash businesses. Ray sounds like a nice, Italian name. Don't you think?
But drug runners and mafia aside there is the screaming subtext of, "I don't have a bank account" or "My credit is so bad that I cannot get a checking account." Most owners don't accept potential tenants who do not have bank accounts. These folks tend to look more transient. And less reliable. And the question coming to my mind is why is this person not grown up enough to have a bank account? Granted it isn't against the law to keep your money in an empty fruit cocktail can in the pantry, but it is nonconforming. Owners tend to appreciate conforming. And stability.
I did not respond to Ray. For one thing, today is Monday. I didn't work this past Sunday so I didn't get his message in time. And second, I don't want to help him. My feeling is that he first needs to help himself.
However, my kids are addicted to groceries. And, with Buckaroo in two sports and about to turn 13 in a matter of days, we go through a lot of groceries. A lot. So, I show rentals.
One of the nifty aspects of real estate is I can advertise other people's listings. Yes, I need permission (unless the rentals are from my company), but being able to do so allows me to generate leads. And essentially a filled rental home makes for a happy owner and a full belly for Buckaroo.
Anyway, I recently ran an ad for a home. As you may remember from our Landlord 101 final exam a few years ago on this blog (which I am pleased to say the three of you passed), the most information you will ever find out about a tenant is from the time they show any interest in a home to the moment they sign the lease. That in mind, this is the response I got from a guy named Ray for an ad I ran. It came in this past Saturday night.
"I am interested in this rental and would like to schedule a viewing today. My roommate are looking to move into a property as soon as Monday. We have cash in hand and are ready to move on the right property. Can I see this property tomorrow?"
Now, mind you, the dude didn't call me--which would make a heck of a lot more sense if he has the urgency I seem to be reading into this. It also appears he can't make up his mind. Did he want to see this house on Saturday or Sunday. Marty Sunshine was even questioning whether or not he was real. That aside, there are a few reasons why I would never rent to him if this were my property.
1) He sounds desperate. If you are willing to move within two days (mind you it takes about two business days to run a background check, credit check and landlord check), why? Are you being kicked out of your current home? Did you not realize the month rolled over and are just exhibiting poor planning skills? Owners don't like poor planning skills from tenants. It tends to become a monthly trend, which involves poor planning with the rent.
2) He has a roommate. That probably means he can't afford the rent himself (which in this case is $1200). Most landlords (me and the company I work for included) require a tenant to have a monthly income of three times the monthly rent. If you need a roommate, you probably are not going to fall into that category. And what happens if Ray and his roomie have a falling out and the roommate leaves? Can Ray afford the rent or does he bail on an unsuspecting owner?
That was rhetorical by the way. We all know the answer to this because it was in the Landlord 102 final exam.
3) And finally, Ray has cash. Nowhere in his quick message did it say anything about him having the "money" for rent and deposits. Just that he has "cash." Of course, there is the usual cliches about the kinds of folks who have all cash businesses. Ray sounds like a nice, Italian name. Don't you think?
But drug runners and mafia aside there is the screaming subtext of, "I don't have a bank account" or "My credit is so bad that I cannot get a checking account." Most owners don't accept potential tenants who do not have bank accounts. These folks tend to look more transient. And less reliable. And the question coming to my mind is why is this person not grown up enough to have a bank account? Granted it isn't against the law to keep your money in an empty fruit cocktail can in the pantry, but it is nonconforming. Owners tend to appreciate conforming. And stability.
I did not respond to Ray. For one thing, today is Monday. I didn't work this past Sunday so I didn't get his message in time. And second, I don't want to help him. My feeling is that he first needs to help himself.
Thursday, October 01, 2015
Karma
So I work for a property management company. Last year, one of our owners from Canada came down to Arizona to visit their five properties. They also wanted to buy another--which was where I came in. I found them the best deal ever on a home. They got it for $70,000 under market.
In exchange for jumping through a lot of hoops and finding them the bargain of the century, they wrote a note to the broker telling him how incompetent I happen to be. Of course, nobody on my end believed it and my conscience was clear.
Fast forward to six months later. One of their properties came vacant. As part of my job, I found them not one, not two, but three qualified tenants to rent this home. All of them would have been dream tenants. All of them were rejected for various reasons, including in one case--and I am not making this up--though the husband's monthly salary was more than than five times the monthly rent and they had no debt and a sizable savings account, the wife didn't work outside the home. And, what would happen if the husband lost his job? Who would pay the rent then?
At that point, I recused myself, told my broker he was on his own and he could find tenants for these yahoos. I also made it clear I would never, ever show any of their rentals. Ever.
This past week one of their rentals came vacant. And, what did these folks do? They fired my broker and have decided to rent it out and manage it themselves from Canada. Best of luck to them. They will need it.
In exchange for jumping through a lot of hoops and finding them the bargain of the century, they wrote a note to the broker telling him how incompetent I happen to be. Of course, nobody on my end believed it and my conscience was clear.
Fast forward to six months later. One of their properties came vacant. As part of my job, I found them not one, not two, but three qualified tenants to rent this home. All of them would have been dream tenants. All of them were rejected for various reasons, including in one case--and I am not making this up--though the husband's monthly salary was more than than five times the monthly rent and they had no debt and a sizable savings account, the wife didn't work outside the home. And, what would happen if the husband lost his job? Who would pay the rent then?
At that point, I recused myself, told my broker he was on his own and he could find tenants for these yahoos. I also made it clear I would never, ever show any of their rentals. Ever.
This past week one of their rentals came vacant. And, what did these folks do? They fired my broker and have decided to rent it out and manage it themselves from Canada. Best of luck to them. They will need it.
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