Destruction

These are a couple of the photos from Monday morning's tornado. I believe these were taken by Mr. Little's and Mrs. Green's home.

By the way, Mrs. Green is safe and sound.

I have heard from Ms. Angie a few times with updates from the area (in addition to Carolsue's updates). Her place of employment was flattened. So, no job for Ms. Angie.

Carolsue tells me my bank branch over by her has one wall left standing.

I Recommend Tossed Salad Tartare

I have to tell you, I am just not feeling the love with this new diva tenant on Fox Circle. The week she moved in, she sent a big long report of all the items Kirby needed to do: including, but not limited to, taking the lock box off the home and stop advertising it. There were other items along this line as well, but they weren't nearly as significant as removing the lock box from the hose bib.

The reason I know about the list is that I get a copy of the "work order" each time she calls.

And then there was the issue with the utilities. The tenant didn't bother to turn on the water and electric in her name until I had them turned off. Classy.

And yesterday. I got another work order from Kirby, telling me the tenant's oven does not work. And because of health issues she has to bake everything she eats. Of course she does! She has to bake her milk. She has to bake her ice cream. She has to bake her salad.

So am I to understand, a tenant who has been in this home three weeks just now realized the oven is not working when she is baking all of her food?

My reply to Kirby was to suggest she make sure she turned on the gas to the house in her name. Maybe then her gas oven would operate correctly and she could go back to baking her food.

Tornados

I awoke on Monday to find a text from Carolsue. Tornadoes had touched down near her. And near Ms. Angie, Ms. Sherwood, Ms. Green and Mr. Little. And probably near a few others from what I have since read.

Ms. Angie was quick to get back to me when I sent her a note asking if she was ok. Yes. Yes she was. And by the way, thanks for the new roof! Mrs. Sherwood took several more minutes. Her home is on a hill, and if nothing else, she would be safe in the basement. And she was.

Kirby happens to live in the area hard hit, and I got in touch with him, in time for him to tell me he was fine (also, proving he CAN get back to me within 24 hours--I will keep that in mind for the future, but today isn't the day to ponder Kirby's skills).

I haven't heard from Ms. Green or Mr. Little. From what I can tell, they were really close to the epicenter of the whole mess. If you feel inclined, please say a prayer, light a candle or just send some positive vibes to them. Hopefully they will get in touch with me soon.

Update: Mr. Little got back to me. He said there is "signifcant damage" about a mile north--which is exactly where Mrs. Green lives. No word from her yet.

The Top Five in What?

This past week, I have tried to get the water turned off at the Fox property, as my tenant has moved in. This brings up a couple of burning questions:

1) Why hasn't the tenants gotten the water turned on to their name immediately?
2) The water was on at this house? I never got a bill.

The first issue is one for Kirby to deal with (and trust me, he has heard plenty about it).

The second one was a bit more unnerving. You see, I do not recall turning on the water at this house. I remember turning on the electricity. I remember Marty Sunshine turning on the gas. But I do not recollect ever spending an hour of my life to make sure there was water on at this house.

But no matter, I want it turned off anyway. So, I did what any reasonable person would do who wants utilities cut off: I call called the company responsible. In this case, the Birmingham Water Works.

The Birmingham Water Works boasts they are "one of the top five water companies in the country." The top five in what, I don't know. Neither did the woman I spoke with on Tuesday of this week when I specifically questioned why "one of the top five water companies in the country" cannot handle my simple request.

You see, when I called to turn off the water, I was asked to verify I really indeed was the account holder, and not some manipulative witch trying to wreck havoc on the poor person living in this home. And, for the record, oddly enough, the last time I went to the Leeds Water Board, I almost had the leader of the redneck mafia's water turned off accidentally and nobody at the Leeds Water Board blinked. And they aren't even in the top 10 water companies in the country.

But, I digress. Back to the Birmingham Water Board...

This particular incident has been going on a week. With me giving the name the account is under but not being able to provide the correct sequence of numbers that coincide with the name on the account. According to the customer service advocate at one of the top five water companies in the country, the number on the account is not the last four digits of my social security number, nor Marty Sunshine's, nor any of the four tax ID numbers in my possession. So, they refused to turn off the water.

"Is it possible somebody made a mistake on your end and entered the information incorrectly in your system and that what I am telling you is correct?" I asked, utterly exasperated. The customer service advocate sort of grunted. Apparently they teach grunting in the charm school offered for all employees of Birmingham Water Works.

After the 10 minutes of the, "It is really me, now turn off the *%$#^&%! water" and her answering me with a, "Not unless you know the social security number or tax ID number on the account," I gave in. As a parting question the customer service advocate asked me if there was something else she could do for me. I chose to answer with only, "Turn off the water." Which she didn't do.

Nor did she recognize the sarcasm.

Somehow Kirby did get the water turned off this week. However, I am still waiting for a call back from the supervisor of the Birmingham Water Board. Perhaps she will be interested in taking a page from one of the country's top four water companies on customer service. But I am not holding my breath.

Two Down

It appears Mario AND Kirby have managed to rent my houses. Or at least most of them. Currently Kirby is also in heated negotiations with "nice folks" who want to rent my home in Pinson. Hopefully these nice folks will work out.

Geez! Its Not Like It Was Baseball

When I saw Diamond Jim Monday evening, he had the big BCS college football bowl game on. Apparently if Alabama won, it would do detrimental things in the college football standings to his Oregon Ducks. Diamond Jim and I agreed to disagree on who should win, as it is better for me to keep my pseudo allegiance to Alabama whole.

Around 9:30 Monday night, I found out Alabama had won the big game. I found out because I received two texts from two separate parties in Birmingham about that time. One just said, "roll tide!!!!!!!!" The other went into greater detail about fireworks being set off and lots of partying in the streets. Apparently a happy crowd over yonder.

Good for them.

You Know the Words

Today is the big BCS college bowl championship big game. Alabama is playing Louisiana. For those of you who really need a team to cheer for, let me give you a tip: "Roll Tide" flows off the tongue much easier than, "Go Louisiana."

I will not be watching the game for one simple reason: it isn't Diamondbacks baseball. But please don't tell the gang in Birmingham. They would be so hurt.
I am guessing there is probably no reason to call anyone in Alabama today. They are all getting ready for tonight's game and no business will get done over there anyway. There is probably no reason to call anyone tomorrow either. If Alabama wins, the folks in Birmingham will be celebrating through the week. If they loose, everyone will be in mourning.

How I Spent My Weekend

Friday, I hit the ground running. I managed to fold six loads of laundry, other household chores, feed children and handle the meager home schooling lesson I had planned, with me directing the kids to figure out how to split subatomic particles on their own, with only youtube instructions. Meanwhile, I managed to spend an enormous amount of time on the phone, between real estate clients and agents, trying to get two contracts ironed out.

Friday was also the onset of Girl Scout Cookie season (if you want cookies, let me know and Polly will call you), and I am one of the two people in charge of said cookies and that required a bit of handling too. Additionally, I am running next Thursday's Girl Scout meeting, so I was researching easy recipes to teach 11 girls ranging in age from 5 to 12. Oh yes! I just found out we can't use the stove in Girl Scout meeting place. So "cooking" is now going to look a lot like fruit salad and finger sandwiches and a lot less like the homemade pretzels we were going to make.

All the while, I was waiting impatiently for either Marty Sunshine to return home for lunch or the dirt we payed to have delivered to show up. As soon as Marty was home, I was out the door, racing to my client's office 20 miles away to give her what I had: a bunch of papers for her to sign. I got back in time to find 14.5 tons of dirt in front of my home, blocking the sidewalk and part of the street. Incidentally, 14.5 tons of dirt is about 20 feet in circumference and 10 feet high--just in case you are curious.

Marty Sunshine worked from home Friday afternoon, so I started shoveling 14.5 tons of dirt onto our front yard for the next hour. Polly and Buckaroo helped, by sliding down the dirt hill and bringing me the wagon to fill.

My dirt shift ended around 2:30, and I went in to start my y'all job. After my y'all job, I went to Home Depot with Marty, bought a wheelbarrow and together we went back to shoveling, raking and moving the 14.5 tons of dirt the house elves hadn't bothered to touch in our absence. We stopped long after dark, with me crawling into bed to get ready for my next y'all shift mere hours later.

Saturday, my day started at 4 a.m. I worked for y'all. I showed homes and I shoveled dirt (Marty Sunshine asked me to add, that he shoveled dirt all day Saturday and did the majority of the shoveling work, not that anyone for an instant thought otherwise).

At 2 p.m. I washed off the dirt stuck to me, and once again went back out again, to negotiate a contract. An hour and a half later, I was on the phone, explaining to the agent, my clients agreed to the terms and conditions set forth by the contract, but if she could give me until 5:30 to fax her the contract instead of 5 p.m., it would afford me the opportunity to actually attend church with my family this evening. Was that a possibility?

And with her blessing, and me asking her her not to take the backup offer she has in place, I managed to scoot my buns into the pew in time to see Buckaroo the Altar Boy, carry the crucifix down the aisle as mass started.

I also managed to get home by 5:27 and get the contract faxed back over. Marty and the kids went out for dinner, I stayed home and moved dirt, with them arriving around 8 p.m. for a nice family game of Clue.

Today I am working on taxes. And in the event you are also curious, the pile of paperwork for several LLCs, and corporation, self employment and other ancillaries are about 20 feet in circumference and 10 feet high.