Monday, August 31, 2009

Public Service Announcement

Even if you aren't running an accidental business in Alabama, it is really a good idea to back up your computer before there is a problem. The key phrase is, "before".

In the even you don't heed my warning and you are running an accidental business in Alabama, be prepared to loose lots of vital documents (like leases), spend hours of frustration and beg swell computer-geek family friends to help you out. These same folks might make broad-sweeping promises of miracle computer resurrection but provide no concrete deadlines whatsoever. So, be prepared to wait.

And, in the event you used the same computer to write the great American novel... well you get the gist.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Random Thoughts

I haven't gotten a single Friday follow-up from Howie the Hack as of yet. In all fairness, he gave me a Thursday update a few weeks ago. But, nothing since then.

I haven't gotten any type of response from the former property management company. It wasn't that I was hoping for a "please tell us why you dumped us" phone call/e-mail drama. But, I would prefer some sort of acknowledgement they got my letter.

Perhaps they are checking with their attorney to see if I can really fire them. If they don't have an attorney, maybe Howie the Hack can take them on.

_______________________________________________________

I have been actively searching for Alan Funt and a hidden camera. I got a call from someone looking for a home and was referred to me by Wayward Tenant!

You know, Wayward. The one who took the kitchen sink, refused to move out and made me evict her and I am still garnishing her wages even after a year? That Wayward.

Hm... Maybe she hates the guy.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Five of the Hive

Some pictures you can comb over.














Bee-leck!










Friday, August 28, 2009

The Side Quests

This week there has been very little that I would classify as an "easy" task. In fact, in order for things to run smoothly (or my variation of smoothly) I have spent several hours constructing the Rube Goldberg business model, in hopes of just accomplishing the simplest of tasks.

For example, the insurance company is asking for two quotes to replace the air conditioner at the 508 house.

The first was easy: Clay to the rescue!

Wednesday morning I called FIVE different companies before I found someone willing to give me a quote.

The first company: He and I couldn't get past the street address. The 508 home is located on a common Birmingham street. Say you lived in Chicago, you might have heard of Michigan Avenue? Say you lived in the Phoenix area, you might have heard of Camelback Road? Say you lived in New York, you might have heard of Broadway. Say you have a pulse in Birmingham, you should know this street name.

Second company: After I explained who I was and why I was calling, the woman who answered said: "You need to speak to my son. He won't be home for another hour from his other job." Apparently he does have an air conditioning service company on the side--or he does now because of the economy. He has a very pretty web site.

Third company: The woman's drawl was so thick I couldn't understand her. And, I rarely have this problem any more.

Fourth company: They are too busy to replace an air conditioner. Could I please call back next week?

Fifth company: Voicemail saying: Please leave a message as we are on vacation and the office is closed the fourth week of August. I ask you, what AC repair person goes on vacation in August?

Sending a letter firing the property management company should have been a simple task. Granted, I wanted to make sure my legal grounds were covered, so Carolsue, Paralegal Extraordinaire, wrote up my letter. However, she wasn't going to be my legal counsel if things get ugly. Therefore, I wanted to run it by Legal Eagle and give her a head's up.

However, when I called, I found out Legal Eagle no longer works at DFWLY Attorneys at Law. And, because Legal's former secretary has the personality and customer service skills of a belligerent pre-adolescent girl (Legal Eagle knows this too), there was no way she was going to provide me with any assistance or cooperation.

I did finally find Legal Eagle. She has looked over Carolsue's letter and gave her blessing.

Ms. Robin has been patiently waiting to get rid of the bees in her ceiling. The Bee Company doesn't do ceilings. The Drywall Company doesn't do bees. Finally, we found people who would do both with a smile. But they don't take out of state checks or credit cards.

Mrs. Waterford has moved out. Now that I no longer have the world's worst property management company to ignore this home, I still need a few tasks done--like showing it. So, I am actively looking for a way to get this done. Carolsue will do it if necessary, but it is pretty far.

It also needs the lawn mowed (too far for Billy) and some painting done. I have a few contacts on that side of the world, but I haven't heard back. In the mean time, I will just keep adding to my property management contraption, in anticipation of a well-oiled machine.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

The Thrill is Gone

A month ago I hired a property management company to rent out the Martin house for me. In that time I have gotten Mr. Richard's home and the 508 home rented. I have never had a home sit vacant this long.

There is no sign in the yard. There is no posting on their web site. There is no advertising in the Birmingham News. In fact, if it weren't for my Craig's List postings the only way anyone would know this home was available is if they caught the presumable smoke signals the property management company is sending out.

And, as if that wasn't enough, the contractor the property management company sent out left the air conditioner at 60 degrees, causing me a $200 electric bill.

Sadly, when I interviewed property management companies last year, this company was the only one that impressed me. Now I am pretty annoyed.

I went with the breach-of-contract-lapse-in-fiduciary-duties stance when I fired them Wednesday.

At this point, I could have flown to Birmingham, spent the weekend holding the home open and spent less money than I have on a vacant home, lost rent and an outrageous air conditioning bill.

Of course, now I still have a vacant home. But at least there is a possibility of getting it rented at this point.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

His Heart Grew Three Sizes That Day*

Mr. Partner heard from Marty that I didn't take last week's news very well about the missing air conditioner. In all fairness, I could have done without Marty mentioning how the entire incident made me loose the contents of my stomach. But I am sure Marty meant well in a sweet, husbandy way.

Monday I got the following sane e-mail from Mr. Partner. I didn't read it right away, as I have been on a Mr. Partner e-mail boycott. This bit of self-preservation was brought about by the 14,000 e-mails earlier last week that weren't as kind.

Here is what he wrote:

I just wanted to add my two cents on this latest incident. Burglaries are something that you cannot control and you cannot take it personally. That is what insurance is for. What we take away from this is to not buy properties in this area in future, and possibly sell this one if financially possible. Nothing else can be done.

Please take all of this with a grain of salt, we will get through it.

Thanks for all you do, it is appreciated.......SINCERELY


Aw shucks! Go figure?

*With props to Dr. Seuss for writing such descriptive prose that would eventually be as fitting for the Grinch as it is for Mr. Partner

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

The Honeymoon is Over

Ms. Angie is settled into her home with only a minor variety of drama. She still doesn't have a downstairs shower. Her gently used stove sported an attitude the second time she opted to cook, deciding to break down instead of performing. That sparked a slap fight between Ms. Betty and Carolsue that I will save for another post. Let's just say, if Mr. Betty wasn't appliance repair man...

I think there was some other incident that happened during Ms. Angie's first week too, but that was so four days ago.

I am guessing Ms. Angie is feeling snug as a bug in a new rug (thank you James-the-cash-only-former-hell's-angel-turned-carpet-guy). Why?

Because--as I predicted--Angie asked me to be her Facebook friend. Oh, if she only knew my whole Facebook experience can be summarized by this: I comment on my cousin's postings and I play Word Drop. To me, there isn't really much other reason for Facebook to exist. If I actually friended her, she would be so disappointed.

Meanwhile, we will have this awkward silence while I ignore her request. Though I will not be able to read postings along the lines of, "My &;^$@!#$ landlord still hasn't fixed the downstairs shower." Sorry, I will have to miss those too.

Monday, August 24, 2009

And Why is Today Not A National Holiday?

And now a shout-out to my dearest friend and bookkeeper, Bliz.

Happy Birthday!

I am glad you were a part of my youthful indiscretions. It made it a heck of a lot more fun. And besides! It ensures neither of our daughters will ever find anything out.

Here's to our lifetime friendship and a terrific birthday to you.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Just a Day in the Life

Well, it turns out I have a breaking point. And Friday I reached it. Before 8 a.m. Carolsue called and left an untimely message that the air conditioner at the 508 home had been stolen. Though I like to think of myself as a rational person, let's face it, a girl can only handle so much.

Marty stepped up, took care of the majority of this issue with some guidance from me on what to do. Call the insurance company. Do this, do that... the usual. My only contributions was an quick e-mail to the insurance company that said: "Call Marty." Carolsue called the police.

Marty also contacted Mr. Partner. At this particular moment, I don't particularly know or care what Mr. Partner thinks. And I am good with that.

There is a small amount of pleasure in knowing the thieves took a non-working air conditioner, but that is minuscule compared to the PIA factor that will follow.

I am off the clock this weekend. I am tired. Dear tenants: If anyone needs anything in the next 48 hours, call Marty.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Changes

Months ago through a conversation with Happy Camper, I was able to clarify why I did not want a property management company. Why pay twice for the same BS?

That said, there are some reasons.

For example, I don't do my own books. I did at one time. (And I assure you, Bliz is reading this, shaking her head and muttering under her breath.) Back then, I only had a couple of homes and an Excel spreadsheet. And that still took me three hours on a Sunday. I am still responsible for making sure there is money to pay the bills, but I don't have to handle the tedious debit and credit entries.

I don't do my own taxes. Diamond Jim gets to interpret the IRS code on my behalf. I still have to pay into the system. I still owe, or not owe. But I don't have to spend the hours necessary to make sure I am not audited.

I don't change my own oil. I don't sew my own clothes. But in both cases, I know how.

I have been doing my own property management. I would say this is about 84 percent successful. Ms. Betty's assertion last month that me "of all people" should understand that I don't come first when it comes to her living expenses brought to light something I suspected. I am a person in these people's eyes, not a business. People are supposed to understand. People are supposed to be compassionate.

Last month a tenant told me her purse was stolen and rent was going to be late. This particular tenant has always been on time and hasn't given me a lick of grief. As she explained, "That's why I like dealing with a 'real person' instead of a property management company. You understand." No. I don't. I have bills too.

Weeks ago--before I knew whether Mr. Richards had moved out or not--I decided I was ready to have a property manager. It wasn't a spur of the moment decision. It came from a long-time rumination of what is best. We will spend more money. But hopefully I will have more sanity.

I have found a company I like. I have negotiated the terms that are reasonable. I have asked to pick my own vendors, so I can keep Carolsue and Baseball Guy if they are available. I can keep Legal Eagle, Clay and the best plumber in Birmingham. I can even hire Billy!

Repairs under a certain dollar amount I won't be bothered about. And I can add supplemental addendum to their lease so that nobody can declare bankruptcy on me and the filters have to be changed every month.

The first house that went into property management was the Martin House. Next will be Mrs. Waterford's soon-to-be-former home (she is moving out Friday). Eventually others may find their way there too.

It isn't that I am giving up property management all together, I am just making what I do less cumbersome. Carolsue is still going to be my Everything Super Woman for homes I am taking care of.

Is this the right thing? I don't know yet. The Martin House is still vacant. And if it stays vacant much longer, I might reevaluate my decision. But for now, I am willing to try them out. Mr. Partner isn't going to be excited about Mrs. Waterford's home. But, that was one of the e-mails I sent him last month that he didn't respond to.

I will still manage the majority of my homes, including Ms. Betty's (sigh). If I am satisfied with the job the company is doing, I may look at transitioning some of my other homes over as time goes on. This way I can see if a property management company really is in my best interest. Or, if I really was better doing the way I was doing it.

Ultimately, I want my free time with my company to be consumed with other things. I want to grow our concept. I want to run my company; not manage the day to day fire drills.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Ship Mates

Marty Sunshine's uncle is one of those types who sees the glass half-full. You could be stranded in a row boat, in the middle of the ocean, a category 5 hurricane heading straight at you while a school of ravenous sharks circle. He would say, "Won't this make a fabulous story once we get back to land?" And he means it.

That's why Uncle Sunshine astonished me when he once offered me this piece of wisdom some years back, "The only ship that doesn't float is a partnership." This has been ringing in my ears the past two days.

I am certain Mr. Partner will get over his frustrations. And, even if he doesn't, I am no longer reading his e-mails, so I won't know. Besides, what is he going to do at this point? Fly out to Birmingham and rip the air conditioner off the property and hand it back to Clay? Ask the plumber to restore the leak? Glue the precarious limb back on to the home?

Marty delicately explained yesterday that this is our (Marty's and mine) money too. We are all in this together. To Marty's credit, he didn't mention that perhaps Mr. Partner would have a lot less to complain about if he hadn't ignored all of July's updates where we asked for his input. I wouldn't have been so diplomatic.

And, for the record, things aren't anything like last summer. This isn't so bad.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

The Grumpy Mr. Partner

Mr. Partner has come out of his hidey-hole long enough to realize things aren't going all that well. Of course, had he been reading the weekly updates for the past six weeks, he might have connected the dots sooner.

Mr. Richard's home left us with a few surprises. A water leak. A broken air conditioner that would cost as much to repair as to replace. Missing 25-year old appliances. A leaking/rusted shower pan enveloped in tile. The list goes on. Insurance doesn't cover general maintenance. It covers vandalism. None of these things are vandalism. They are neglect from Mr. Richards, who didn't bother to tell me about the shower, air conditioner and water leaks.

I tasked Marty with prepping Mr. Partner with the news. My feeling is if I have to deal with the direct line of chaos, I am not making it worse by passing it along to the Mr. Partner volcano.

Mr. Partner did contact Marty and opted to copy me on his notes. He said a lot of things, but it boiled down to: "I am not happy." And for the record, I am not either. But, I am dealing with this garbage on a daily basis. He just hears about it once a week.

It used to be, I took this very personally. But after all these years, I happen to know me being at the helm didn't cause these issues. In fact, I encourage Mr. Partner to step up if he can do better.

It isn't my fault we had a tenant (who has lived in this house for more than four years) file bankruptcy and now feels he should live for free until at least November. It isn't my fault the 508s trashed their house. It isn't my fault Mr. Richards (apparently) had a bit of a gambling issue and sold everything not nailed down to appease those looking for him.

I screen my tenants before they move in. There isn't anything in my screening process that accounts for a compulsive gambler, abusive relationships or other potential life-altering situations. I don't have a crystal ball to tell me how the people renting from me will behave from the second they arrive until the day they leave.

This week I have another tenant moving out. She is getting a divorce and has lost her job. She isn't staying and living off me for free. She is moving on. I appreciate that.

I invite Mr. Partner to take this over. Because I would be thrilled to get weekly updates. It would be refreshing for a change.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Guilt Trip

I got a fax on Saturday from someone who had heard of me. He sent me my application--filled out--with a note telling me he has a lease-purchase agreement with his landlord. However, his landlord's home (which this guy is living in) will be foreclosed upon Friday.

He was asking me to buy this home. And, he added this caveat: "You are my last hope."

Because I got this note less than a week before the foreclosure auction, there is no way I can evaluate this. I don't know what he is paying for rent, how much the home is worth or the nature of his agreement. And, because this is happening days from now, there probably isn't time for anyone else to help him either.

Sadly, he didn't leave me an e-mail address, so I guess I will be calling him to give him the bad news. He is moving.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Thier Slogan is "Simplify Your Life"

After spending an enormous amount of time on the phone with the power company this week, I found out they have no motivation to turn on the electricity to the 508 house.

The first reason they gave me was because there was an overdue bill from the Fultondale home. It wouldn't have been overdue if Bliz had gotten the bill. Apparently they sent it to Michigan. Bliz doesn't live in Michigan.

Once the bill was paid (instantly from the moment we found out), they still wouldn't allow power to be turned on. Why? Because the former tenants owe money. Let me summarize. Tenants didn't pay power bill. Anyone from this point forward wanting electricity at that house can't have power at this time because FORMER TENANTS WHO NO LONGER LIVE THERE owe money. I am sure it makes sense if you don't think about it too hard.

What I was told as the only remedy for this predicament was that I was to personally show up on the electric company's door step with proof of ownership. Once they verify I am the rightful owner, they will then turn on the power.

On Wednesday, when I called I was handed this predicament. This was the conversation that ensued.

Me: "I am in Arizona. Can I just fax the deed?"
Electric company representative: "No, you have to come in person. That's the only way."
Me: "Arizona isn't next to Alabama, it isn't like I can just hop in the car and get over there."
And she said: "It isn't?"

Have you ever had one of those moments where every vein in your head was ready to explode? That was about my point. So, I asked for her supervisor, figuring someone over there had an IQ higher than 17. The customer service rep hung up on me.

Carolsue, armed with a power of attorney is now taking care of this issue. After all, say I was incapacitated, someone on my behalf should be able to handle this right? There has to be a way for someone other than the owner to turn on the power.

Friday I got an e-mail from Carolsue. It said:


"I cannot get the power on at 508 until Monday at the earliest. The reason behind this is that I became so frustrated at the 'customer service representative' who was waiting on me that I asked to speak with her supervisor who will not be back until Monday. Don't even ask."

I don't need to.

Friday, August 14, 2009

The Perfects

So, I was talking with Trish--who does not know about my blog, but does know I own a rental home or two. She was telling me her "perfect tenants" have gone crazy.

When they moved in last April, Mr. and Mrs. Perfect were paying a week early. They didn't complain. They loved the house. All was good. Then summer hit.

The house has had air conditioning issues. Each time the Perfects called, Tricia took care of them immediately. However, according to the Perfects, their electric bills are in the $600s. They want to be reimbursed for this.

I am no air conditioning expert, but I happen to think that a $600 electric bill is more than an air conditioning issue. Perhaps they are running heavy machinery? Perhaps they keep leaving doors and windows open? Perhaps Mrs. Perfect, a stay at home mom in her first trimester of pregnancy, wants the house super-duper cold?

My own home is about the same size as Trish's rental. I have had air conditioning issues. And, long ago I have worked for the local electric company and learned a few things about billing. Nope, not buying the $600 electric bill solely from the air conditioner.

In addition, Mr. Perfect is demanding to be reimbursed for taking time off to meet the air conditioning repair man at the rental home. Did I mention Mrs. Perfect is at home all day? And did I mention Mr. Perfect is self-employed?

Last week, Mr. Perfect came to Trish demanding she lower the rent by $500. Why? Because there is a home nearby similar to the one they are living in that is for rent for $500 less than they are paying now. For the record: Arizona is not a rent-control state. Mr. Perfect said if they don't lower the rent, they were leaving Sept. 1.

That's when Trish dropped this bomb on me. The Perfects announced they were using their security deposit for rent this month. Forgetting this was her drama, not mine, I said, "They can't do that."

"Why not?" she asked. "They just said they were going to." And she tells me, she was meeting with them in a few days to have a "pow-wow" over the whole electric bill and lowering the rent issues. She said she just wants to make sure they are "on the same page."

I explained to Trish, there was no "same page." The Perfects just don't have the rent money. They are in violation of their lease. There should be no renegotiating their rent amount. The Perfects decided to rent her home for that price. There is a lease in place that says they will do so. If they find something cheaper later on, that's nice. But, it is like buying a BMW and then deciding they want Corolla. But they are stuck with the BMW payments.

The Perfects should not get reimbursed for their utilities. Trish has no idea why their electric bill is so high, but that doesn't mean it is from an air conditioner being on the fritz for six hours. And, if Mr. Perfect decided to stay home from work and wait for the AC guy, that's nice. But not Trish's problem.

But none of that matters anyway. The Perfects are in big trouble. They don't have the rent. In fact, this is pretty classic signs of someone who is hard up for rent money. So, for Trish, the first step is to start the eviction process. Now, not later.

I recommended a few things. First, no pow-wow. It clouds the lease if she has to go to court. Don't make deals. Trish is the boss. There is no "same page." She has an agreement in place for a reason.

Second, no renegotiating the rent amount. Because at this point, if Trish charged $50 a month, it wouldn't be enough of a break. For whatever reason, these people want out of the lease. And I predicted they were going to get out of the lease one way or another.

Third, if they have to go to court (Mr. Perfect is threatening to sue over missed work and high utility bills), all she has to say is "They are in violation of their lease because they have not paid rent." Plain and simple. The judge won't care about the utility bills. The judge won't care about the missed work. The tenants have not honored their contract.

That's when Trish shared with me this gem: she has gotten two calls this week from people asking for a landlord reference for the Perfects. "Do you think they are moving out?" she asked.

Yes, yes I do. And, she should consider herself lucky to be rid of these people.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Southern Justice

Howie the Hack was a referral from Pete the Attorney.

On Monday, before I turned in the Alabama Bar Association malpractice info, I went to Pete and said, "by the way, the guy you referred to me didn't perform. We are in a bind. I am sad." I didn't scream "malpractice," but vaguely suggested that I was looking at a recourse to our new predicament--Howie's lack of response.

My thought was parlaying with Pete was probably faster and would save me the headache of filing with the BAR. And, given the paperwork, it would probably save several small rain forests and a future aneurysm as well.

I honestly though Howie and I were done. After all, missing that meeting was pretty much saying we had no issue with these bozo tenants staying until their youngest graduates from medical school 25 years from now. So, I figured we were stuck with this.

When Pete e-mailed me back, he gave a heart-felt apology and asked for my number, assuring me Howie would soon be calling. I didn't believe it. I was already on to my latest adventure and would shoot off an e-mail to Legal Eagle for some help next week.

Instead, Howie called today. Not only did I get an apology from him for not returning our three phone calls the last two weeks and ignoring the creditor meeting, but he gave me a thorough update on everything he was doing. Apparently he is now motivated to help us.

He has contacted the Bozo Tenant's attorney and the bankruptcy judge asking for a stay on our behalf. He is consulting his Magic 8 Ball and seeking answers as to when we could get this house back. He is calling his Italian cousin Harry the Hacksaw to see if perhaps he might need a side job. (Ok, I made up one item on that list).

And, by the way, he would be happy to update me on a regular basis. How did every Friday sound? Would I prefer an e-mail or a phone call? Say about 3 p.m.?

I don't know what transpired between Pete and Howie, but I am guessing it was an interesting conversation.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

And it is Only Tuesday

Recently I have come to the conclusion I am treading water in the Sea of Incompetence.

For example, we are trying to get the power turned on at the 508 home to start the repairs (finally!). However, the power company is refusing to do so because we have an outstanding bill. This was the first we heard of this. In fact, had the power company sent the bill, Bliz would have paid it with a smile. But they didn't.

The plumbing episode speaks for itself, though when I follow up with them I am sure I can add my two cents' worth. I am pleased to hear the first guy out there who missed the waterfall had what was coming to him. It gives me hope.

Then there is Howie the Hack. 'Nuff said.

My latest bout of stupidity is also with Mr. Richards' former home. The downstairs shower is not usable at this time. The home is 30 years old and the drain pan is leaking. In order to get to the drain pan, it requires ripping apart the shower tile, replacing the drain pan and then putting in new tile. The plumber doesn't handle this, so I found Flip. Apparently he specializes in replacing shower drain pans and all the subsequent tile work involved.

Flip was kind enough to head over to the house, use the lock box to get himself in, and give me an outrageous quote. Instead of putting the key back into the lock box, he left the key on the counter and locked the door on his way back out.

At least he had the decency to call to see if I found this to be a problem. Um... yes. Yes it is. I have appliances scheduled for delivery tomorrow. I have rescheduled them twice because of the water leak. And, it doesn't really show Flip in the best light.

At this moment, I can't get a second opinion to see how far off Flip's quote happens to be because the keys are inside the house. The appliances still aren't delivered because the keys are inside the house. And, I can't let Angie move in because the keys are inside the house.

Though this will be remedied, it shouldn't have happened. And, it is one more hole in the life raft in the Sea of of Incompetence.

Monday, August 10, 2009

I am Dizzy Just Writing This

The best plumber in Birmingham is getting on my nerves.

Mr. Richards former home had a few water leaks (seriously, he lived like this???). One of these is in the upstairs bathroom. There is another issue in the downstairs basement shower. The upstairs bathroom is an immediate concern. The downstairs shower isn't a big deal.

Let me rephrase this: THE UPSTAIRS BATHROOM MUST GET FIXED. NOW. I have a tenant moving in this week. And, right now we can't turn the water on to the house unless I am planning on offering a waterfall and an indoor pool to Angie.

Last week, Carolsue met the plumber at the house, explained to him the situation. She didn't need big 5" x 7" color glossies--though maybe that would have helped in hindsight. The water leak was apparently obvious. It was leaking from the upstairs bathroom into the garage.

The plumber determined with his sage wisdom, the problem was the kitchen sink. Yes, the kitchen sink was dripping on to the bottom cabinet. But, as she explained, but this drizzle was coming from the bathroom. He nodded his head, and Carolsue took that for plumber language as "I have it under control."

Saturday, Carolsue came back to find out the leak wasn't fixed and water was coming out of areas where water isn't supposed to be. If there had been an enterprising neighbor, they might have sold admission to the indoor water slide.

Monday morning I called back and talked to the plumbing company's owner, explaining the leak wasn't fixed. In fact, if we turn on the water to the house, we have a geyser. The owner explained to me the downstairs shower was the problem. Now I realize I am not there, but I can figure out if water is dripping from the ceiling into the garage, that the downstairs basement shower cannot be the issue. The basics of gravity are in play here.

Monday morning, Carolsue called them too and explained the basement shower was not causing water to seep through the upstairs ceiling into the garage and could they kindly come back out and try again.

Monday afternoon I got a call from the best plumber in Birmingham. They gave me the name of someone who handles shower repairs, as they can't remove tile to make this repair. They wanted to help me out so I can get my shower repaired. Though I appreciate their attention to detail on this shower thing, too bad this isn't really the issue.

When I called the plumber today, I was told by the owner the plumber went back out to the house and the water meter had been pulled, so he borrowed water from the neighbor and poured it down the kitchen sink drain. Yep, the the drain is fixed. And, the shower still has an issue. And, by the way, the dishwasher is missing. For the record, the meter is still there and the dishwasher was missing last time he was there too.

Keeping with the whole good cop-bad cop thing, Carolsue called and explained in a Southern-hear-me-roar kind of way, that they really messed this one up. The water leaking from the upstairs bathroom had gotten worse. The water was off at the meter--but the meter was still there--to prevent future flooding and could someone please take care of this NOW. From what I understand, Carolsue was greeted with a few "bless your hearts" from the owner's wife and a commitment that the plumbing flunkie would be calling to resolve this.

Ok, I have mental vertigo now. And I hope Angie can swim.

Howie the Hack

Despite the contrary, I don't like conflict. I don't seek it out. I don't want it. But I don't tolerate a ton of crap either. My philosophy is: do your job, communicate or get out of my way. Though I prefer polite communication, there are times I will settle for a loud grunt--as long as the job gets done.

I haven't talked about the humdinger that hit us this summer. It was the cherry on top of a few annoying odds and ends. I had a tenant file Chapter 7 bankruptcy. Last year they filed Chapter 13, which means they were reorganizing and paying back their debt. This year, they said, the hell with everything and stopped paying.

And, because bankruptcy laws are federal, at this moment there isn't anything I can do. They are living there. In my home with the most expensive mortgage. Doing whatever. Worse yet, I can't contact them because lawyers are involved.

Or, at least I thought lawyers were involved. I couldn't use Legal Eagle for this one, as bankruptcy isn't her speciality. So, I got the name of Heinous Howie the Hack, Attorney at Law, from one of my sources.

At first Howie returned calls. All was good. I wasn't going to have to head out to Alabama on July 30 for a creditor meeting to plead with the judge to make these people leave my home. So, I kept my other plans of taking my kids to summer camp in Tucson.

On July 28, Howie called with bad news. My tenants weren't going to leave. On July 29, Marty called Howie and said: call us back. This isn't good. On July 30, I called and said something similar. All the while, under the impression Howie was going to this creditor meeting.

I still haven't heard from Howie. I think there is a more likely chance Mrs. 508 and I are the best of friends than Howie followed through. Which puts us in a real bind. If Howie was going to flake it would have been nice to know this weeks ago. I could have found better legal counsel. I could have gotten someone to go to the creditor meeting. I could have flown out myself.

But, not telling us is a serious breech. And that is too bad for Howie. Because the Alabama BAR doesn't take well to attorneys who let down their clients. And, I really didn't need another project.

Sunday, August 09, 2009

Mr. Partner

Mr. Partner has checked out. I would prefer to join him, as my plate has been a bit on the heaping side of late. But just like a marriage, two people can't be having a crisis at the same time.

And, right now Mr. Partner is dealing with some bad-ass family stuff. Or, at least I think he is. Last time he went MIA, that was what was going on. And, given he is exhibiting the same behavior, Marty and I are betting our bottom dollar it is happening again.

We know he is alive, because his e-mails aren't bouncing back. And, he just sent me a bill for home owner's insurance that is due in THREE days. However, I sent him a request three weeks ago and haven't heard a peep. Usually he is right on that.

I also tossed a bunch of relevant information his way recently and didn't get much of a response on that front either. Which means I get to make the decisions. And, to top it all off, an air conditioner has to be replaced. Unfortunately, it is beyond the repair stage. So, I will send that note his way knowing he will either ignore it or get caught up and give me lots of now-irrelevant feedback he has been storing up.

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Just Trying to Stop Another Awkward Facebook Request

Mr. Richards' former home wasn't even painted--much less advertised for rent--when I got a call out of the blue. It was Angie. She wanted to know if I have any homes to rent? I do! And, Mr. Richards' former home might fit the bill.

Angie and I have been talking for about two years. She calls intermediately, asking what I might have available. Oddly enough, up until a few days ago, I did not know how she had originally gotten my number.

Apparently she is somehow related to Mrs. Martin. So, she knows I garnish when I don't get paid. That will save us both the step of testing my limits. And even knowing I don't like not getting paid, she still wants to rent from me.

Angie loved Mr. Richards' former home. Which I found odd, given the state it was in when she saw it. The appliances haven't been delivered. There is a water leak that has reached critical mass and the air conditioner opted to go on strike the day she showed up. Carolsue, with her best Southern hospitality, let her see the mess anyway.

I was about to approve Angie when she committed a faux pas. She included me on one of those "forward this to 20 people and your wish will come true" e-mails.

For all of you Fair Housing purists, it is not illegal to discriminate against someone who sends irritating spam chain letter e-mails. In fact, I would think it would be a public service to stop this type of annoyance before it gets out of hand. Let's face it, is there really any amount of rent worth those types of e-mails?

What blows me away is Angie is in her mid-40s, is a working professional and presumably knows better. Or, I thought she might. At any rate, if I do end up approving her, it looks like we will have to have the "just so we are clear, we are not friends" talk.

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

The Non-Existent Magic Landlord Wand

Recently, my 71 year old father, who is into broad sweeping generalizations and hasn't discovered I am over 40, mentioned that landlords never take care of their homes. Though Dad knows I am a landlord, I am aware I wasn't on the radar in that statement. After all, I am only 11 in his eyes.

I found that to be an interesting perspective from Dad and began wondering if if most tenants felt like that. Facebook Debbie has had issues with her lodging this week. Carolsue has a broken sink. I have another friend who is renting and has continual challenges with her air conditioner.

I can't speak for all landlords. I can tell you I like well maintained homes. That doesn't mean I jump at every little thing that needs to be fixed. The basics: roof/plumbing/electrical/heating/cooling are obvious. To me, anything that impacts the health and safety of someone's life needs to be addressed immediately.

Landlords who run their investments like a business tend to be cost-conscious. Therefore, in general, they are more likely to want to fix than replace. And, if they have to replace, it doesn't mean they want to buy new. Sometimes a nice stove can come from craigslist.

As we are stoking the fires of our investment, pricing is a factor. I have a home with air conditioning issues. Most likely it would be in my best interests to replace the unit. However, I would rather just get it repaired right now. It is significantly cheaper and resolves the same problem. The repair takes less time than a new unit replacement too. In the end, the tenant has air. That's what they want.

One of the legitimate claims tenants make is how it takes to get repairs made. The legitimacy is the length of time. However, most of the time, the length of time it takes to get the repair made has nothing to do with who makes the call. The secret I think tenants sometimes forget is simply, an electrician can't get to a home any faster for a tenant or a homeowner. A home that has a water leak will get fixed when the plumber gets there--which is sometime after the call is made. And there lies the rub. The landlord has to make the call.

Yes, I know there are landlords who really don't care. Or really don't have the money. Or really don't think these issues are a major hassle to their tenants. The landlords pay the price. The tenants leave. The property becomes destroyed over time. It is amazing what a water drip can turn into over the course of a year.

As much as I wish there was a magic landlord wand. There isn't. When there is a problem with a broken do-hickey, there is frustration on everyone's end, with the landlord getting the brunt of the blame. Sometimes it is legitimate. Sometimes it is not.

Monday, August 03, 2009

Facebook Debbie

Facebook Debbie has decided to get a lawyer. I am watching her posts, mildly curious as to what on Earth she is going to do. Sue the landlord for what? He has immediately stepped up and taken care of the problem. He didn't cause the problem.

Yes. It is yucky. Yes. It is annoying. Yes. It is unfortunate. Yes. We get it.

Can you sue for being inconvenienced? A bathroom flooded. She is still living there, with additional rooms to utilize until the mess is fixed. She has family close by that could take her in. I don't know if her possessions were destroyed or not (she hasn't said, and given how much drama she has included, I would think that would have been mentioned). At any rate, it seems to me that renter's insurance would have been a good idea for her. Hope she has it.

Granted, I am just reading her posts and not commenting. She is garnering a lot of sympathy from like-minded others. What seems to be missing is: What else can the landlord do at this point?

If she asks to get out of her lease, I am willing to bet the landlord will help her pack. Not because she has any legal recourse, but because he probably doesn't want to deal with her. Sadly, she will claim this as a victory against the landlord. Instead of what it really is. An accident.

Sunday, August 02, 2009

I Am Pretty Sure I Have Covered This Bee-Fore

Ms. Robin e-mailed me. The bees are back. She found honey dripping from her wall (ew!).

However, unlike certain tenants I have, Ms. Robin is proactive, actually taking the time to call a beekeeper before she contacted me. I am guessing she recognizes I am here and her problem is there.

Although she made the phone call, I am sure she was muttering under her breath as she wrote to me, "I am sure not paying for this...." And sigh. No, she isn't.